I've only just started reading your translation and I wonder if you might be interested in letting someone revise your translation. I thank you greatly for translating it in the first place, that said the wording is incredibly awkward and some phrasing is so strange that I cannot understand what is trying to be conveyed. I admit that I am preoccupied with school and various projects but if you are interested I would be more than happy to assist you, though because of my prior engagements I can make no promises for the speed with which the story would be revised.